Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
mondays should just be called national damage control day
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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