dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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