you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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