1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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