..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
