we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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