Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize