This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
