Who wears a wallet chain?!
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
