my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
