Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Randomize
