He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
