all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
