i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
