how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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