You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
