The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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