Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I did not marry a roomba.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
