Whod you bang
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize