if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
