what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
