Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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