hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
