I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
