The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
