she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
FUCK WHALES
If I had your ass I would rule the world
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
