i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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