I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize