I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
