the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
