I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
