Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
What a dumb baby whore.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
