so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
