vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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