I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize