I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
