Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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