She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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