whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
