i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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