No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
