Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I need help removing her.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
