is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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