Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
