What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
