The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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