My hair reeks of homosexuality.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
