Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize