He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i came on her dog
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
