I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
