its not stalking. its research.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
