We won't sleep together?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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