The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
