Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
