in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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