Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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