What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
