Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
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