No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
