eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
