I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
