would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
