Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
